Research shows that 55% of who you are in rooted in heredity and genetics and 45% is how you take what you got and bring it out into the world (personalityinsights.com). It is the age old question of nature versus nurture. It is an almost even balance that creates us as humans. So when I say I came out fun-loving, spacey, funny, whimsical, spastic and a little off kilter, I thank my 55%. I also thank my 45% because I was born into a family that supported these pieces and showed me how to use them to my advantage. I don’t have ducks. I don’t have a row. I have squirrels and they are everywhere.
Almost my whole life has been spent jumping out of the box where funny, spacey and off-kilter isn’t loved. I have tried to sober up my squirrels so I could be more duck like. I felt society liked ducks more because they gracefully stood in rows and had their act together. I looked disorganized, unplanned, a hot mess!
I, now, embrace this ever-glittering piece of me. Check out these 3 ways to build your own box for the squirrels in your head:
1. Humor sets the stage: Stanford did a study that humor accounts for a 700% increase in learning among students. So, I may be spacey, but I am smart. Knowing that human behavior is a pattern, I know that my temperament lends itself to being really good with people and relationships. And since 85% of a human’s success in life is due to their strong people skills, I have an amazing advantage. Celebrate the strengths. The people skill I am best at is humor. It sets the stage for my interactions, how my day runs, the relationships I make and turn away, and how I look at different situations. What is your best social skill? How can you use it to inform your 85%?
2. Find your chill: My whole life people have been trying to settle me down, chill me out, meditate me to calmness. It hasn’t worked yet! With squirrels in my head, I have found that the typical ways to calm are not for me. I calm by buying junk at yard sales and thrift stores, having lunch with friends, or eating a bagel from my favorite bagel shop. I can’t meditate. Well, I guess I could, but I don’t want to. I figured out just the other day that when I participate in guided meditation I use the humor and sass in my head to joke with the guiding voice. Totally the opposite of what is supposed to happen. Find your calm and be confident that yours may not look like someone else’s. Be honest with yourself because sometimes the quirks find the calm for you!
3. Slow it down: I am fast! I am fast at running, thinking, talking, getting mad, eating and even sleeping. My squirrels need it all fast. But often I have to slow down with self-talk. I have to slow my impulses long enough to capture the outcomes of my decisions. My fast pace sometimes ends in sadness and hurt feelings so self-talk is my solution. I remember those hard feelings and make sure they don’t happen again and again. Introduce your impulses to your emotions and create self-talk so they can get along.